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Monday, December 20, 2010

disciplining too much?

I had a conversation tonight with a family member and had sort of an epiphany... this may not be a novel idea to y'all BUT to me it was like a light bulb went on!
If I'm spending a lot of time disciplining, maybe just maybe, it's because I'm not training my children properly.
WOW!  Isn't that true though?

I have to remind myself that my children are blank slates, that they can be trained (and should be) but that I can't just discipline for the bad behavior. I have to intentionally train them in how to act, they won't just automatically know what the opposite of being mean to their brother is.

Oh, if only I could remember that during those moments I want to scream. 

I'm not only need to be teaching my children the correct social behavior (who says I know that anyway LOL!) but way more importantly the correct spiritual behavior. As a follower of Jesus I am commanded in Scripture to

...impress these things upon your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
Deut. 6:7

Training can be accomplished a lot of different ways. I think that is why the Bible instructs us to talk to our children all the time. The biggest way I see training happening in our home is through relationships. If our children think they're a burden to us why would they care what we have to say? We do a lot of talking around my house about all kinds of things! My kids KNOW that they are valued and loved and so they seek us out for wisdom.

Being a parent is such a huge responsibility. I'm so thankful the Lord is gracious to me and doesn't throw the whole impact of the load at me all at once. He doesn't expect me to do what I cannot.
Personally, I'm learning that being a parent is a whole lot about trust. Trusting that the Lord knows what He's doing, with the personalities of our children, with the gender, and maybe even with giving them to us in the first place! I also have to trust that as much as I love my children He loves them more.

I'm committing to putting my children first before all the other 'good' things in my life. Filling their little lives up and then worrying about the unimportant things. My children will only be little for awhile... I will only have their hearts by default for awhile, then it will have to be because they trust me. 
I can't just expect them to turn out right because I take them to sunday school and don't let them watch certain shows. Mothering is a massive commitment and one that, if allowed, can grow us into godly women who radiate Jesus' love to everyone around us.

If I will just stop worrying so much about my rights I could actually do a better job with my children. I'd be able to take the time to train instead of just disciplining if I would discipline myself instead not to turn on the computer, or pick up the phone call, or just do busy work.

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Galatians 5:22


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